I cockslap morals
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
