Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
