If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
