when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
