KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
