As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
