I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I need help removing her.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
