Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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