I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
