Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
