i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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