she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
