last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
