1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm lost and stupid without you.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
