whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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