he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
