if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Randomize
