Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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