i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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