this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Say something about gay babies.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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