Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
