is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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