you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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