It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
