i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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