i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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