dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
