Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
