Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
