They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Houston, we have a squirter
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
