Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
