Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
