the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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