You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
