He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
