I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
