we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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