I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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