just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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