Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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