I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
