my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
