I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
