Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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