omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize