So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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