watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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