Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I cut my penus on the lid.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
