we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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