Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
