Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
