Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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