Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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