My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
