$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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