it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
