just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize