i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
