So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
