Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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