i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
