I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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